Tuesday, May 12, 2009

From my website. (the vinners)

I grew up with My biological brother Paul in a sexually abusive home. My adopted mother was oblivious to the fact that my adopted father was sexually abusing me. It's things like this that make children grow up to be bitter and destroyed. I overcame these things with a little help from a couple things though, Number one being Jesus Christ. My Lord and Saviour. The true Father.What a REAL Father should be; loving, protective, caring, there for me. I learned who God was; but not from my parents. I actually learned who God was from two amazing Bands. Yes you guys all think I'm nuts or something, but it's absolutely true. Music changed my life and it can do amazing things for you also if you let it.
So my second thing was music. I grew up on DC Talk and I'm VERY THANKFUL for the words of wisdom that came from their lyrics/music, and from the things they said and did. They were older and much wiser then me in the ways of Christianity and Christ! They taught me a lot about Being Bold about my beliefs and about who I could be as a Christian and a woman of Christ. I wasn't being taught how to be a true Christian at home. I wasn't being taught much of anything at home, except how to crawl into a hole. Dc Talks' music is also the reason I am saving myself for Marriage. Don't sell yourself short girls (and guys) God has someone out there worth your waiting for them until your wedding night! If you chose not to wait, God will still love and accepts you. He cares for you beyond our mistakes.
The second band/group that really played a huge part in my life through all those times.. was "The Brothers" (now Family Force 5)... Not only were they around my age but they knew Christ. The person I wanted to get to know. They knew about the spiritual of Him and understood God on a level above what I did at the time, at least in their lyrics. Their lyrics were very comforting to me, especially "Hide Me Away" (the song playing now and that tattoo on my right shoulder) and so was Solomon's voice, he is "The Voice that Saved my life" and along with the bands' lyrics both saved me from such pain and hurt that was happening around me. I am alive because of that music and those three guys. The day I bought that tape was the day I had planned to commit suicide. They don't know it yet but they really did save my life.
I would literally sit in my room and listen to both of these bands and rely on there lyrics to get me through what was happening to me on the inside..No one around me knew the heartache i was going through (some knew but blew it off) the things that were happening on the inside was really eating away at my soul. I didn't want to live anymore I didn't want to be me anymore, I really didn't know who "me" was, I never did. There is nothing wrong with taking a cd/tape putting it in your radio/stereo listening to it and having it help heal you. They were positive influences in my life.
I'm a stronger woman now because of how music has touched my life. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to musicians.. and how important they are to the world.. They're going to change the world and they already have in many ways. I could never ever turn my back on ma boyz. That is exactly what they are to me..I grew up with them in a sense. So don't step!! My friends/family joke by sayin, "You can say anything to Chris. Talk to her about anything. But do not get in her face about her Olds Brothers' or her TobyMac." I'm pretty protective. lol.
Music continues to touch my soul and my life. I think if it weren't for God bringing the music into my life that He brought into my life I wouldn't be here. I don't hold these guys up above who Christ is and I never could. However I AM very grateful that God led me to them. It is very rare that something touches your life so deeply that you can erase the pain and let go of struggles it got your through. To those that music has NOT touched as deeply as it has touched me.. can't/and won't ever understand what it's like to have a band or two like this. I truly wish and pray that someday I will be able to BLESS Toby, Michael, Kevin, Josh, Solomon, and Jacob as much as they have blessed my life...
THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
"Hide me away, safe in your arms..."

No comments: